At night, when my children were young, we asked two questions, "What was the best part of your day? and What was the worst part of your day?" As a family we all answered these two questions. Often the attention was greater on the response to the worst part of the day. At the time, and as a new parent- we thought well attention on both the negative and positive is healthy. Yet, what we did not realize was that slowly the worst part of the day had become the center of discussion. Eventually these two questions evolved into, "What was the best part of your day? and What was the most challenging part of your day?" For years this worked and there appeared to be a balance. One night we had a visitor and they commented on how effective this method seemed to be for processing through a day and focusing on the positive as well as the challenging. Then she moved to dialogue more about what was most challenging and in this minute I realized that there was a shift and maybe the nights dialogue was not as balanced and positive as I thought. Time went by and the two questions evolved into, " What was the BEST part of your day?" Some people ask well that's nice to ask your children about the best part of their day, but don't you want know about the most challenging part and help them and be part of their lives in a more proactive way. I said, "no." I want to share only the best part of my day and want to hear about the best part of their day. I reassured my children that discussing challenges are important however we can focus on what is great, grow it, feed it, nurture it, and with intention make more of the good part of our day and life. I eventually began to feel a sense of relief with our nightly routine. These questions grew out of our home and were asked to all our family and friends on a normal basis. We say, " Tell me what's great?" I notice most parents when they see their children after being away from them say, " What's wrong." Definitely when someone asks me, "What's wrong?" I could respond quickly and with many words. When I am asked, "What's great?" I usually stop in my tracks, think, look at the person and wonder are they serious, then think some more and realize I am so programmed to thinking about what's wrong that what's right just seems like an odd question. So this question is part of our greeting and goodbye as a family. Recently I had a house guest from Japan. One night I said, "Kumi, what was the best part of your day?" She said, well I do not usually have one good part of my day. At night before I go to sleep I rehearse verbally to myself all great parts but at least 10. I said ok, well what are the 10 best parts of your day. She said, " 1. I am alive, 2. I am walking, 3. I have food to eat, 4. I am warm, 5. I have a family, 6. I like your coffee, 7. I can breath air that is fresh, 8. I see the sky and stars at night, 9. The bed I am in is cozy and warm, 10. I am grateful for my mother." So......... NOW I ask to hear about 10 great parts of the day.
Today here are mine: 1. I awoke next to a gorgeous hound with a long tail. 2. I drank coffee that was hot. 3. I assisted with family to make living easier for others. 4. I ate something different and found gratitude for the cook. 5. I drove in silence. 6. I listened to birds while I ran. 7. I sat. 8. I held a puppy. 9. I heard someone say I LOVE YOU. 10. NOW! Peace-Love
Today here are mine: 1. I awoke next to a gorgeous hound with a long tail. 2. I drank coffee that was hot. 3. I assisted with family to make living easier for others. 4. I ate something different and found gratitude for the cook. 5. I drove in silence. 6. I listened to birds while I ran. 7. I sat. 8. I held a puppy. 9. I heard someone say I LOVE YOU. 10. NOW! Peace-Love
